Round Molecules

I see bedsheets crumpled ... the curves which are so difficult to replicate in a painting or sketch... But y? Am I thinking of the nights when I will watch her sleep?? But she has her back turned to me... that cant be a good sign .... hmmm ....

I search, and I search .... cursed with spells of insomnia ... when I feel like dropping down into that vortex of nothingness ... I want to spin and spin .... arms outstretched....

I wish I was schizophrenic ...

"You dont realize you had somethin, until you lose it" ...

What if I do realize what I have. Does that mean I wont lose it? No, it means .. I have already lost it.

LOL, realizing something you have is already lost. I want to laugh out of the agony.

Do I think that looking at shapes in the clouds is cool? I guess I do. Everything is evolutionary though. All that an animal does is based around a few instincts. So what is my instinct? I'm a male of the species. My instincts should all be directing me to procreate. Is that all that I actually, truly feel? All these layers on top of it, simply there to mask it out. But why? Wouldnt it have been more effective if it was just there alone. What is the USE of having so many feelings?

I guess it just is. I am cursed with this consciousness which is forever doomed to THINK. If all of my thoughts, all which I have had, could be erased, I would be free. I would become nothing. This constant buzzzzzzzz is the worst.

What do these things that I 'see' when I close my eyes mean? Why am I seeing a metal device, like a valve, opening its flap downwards. It looks so well machined. Grey.

I can explain everything! Everything! I can always think up a REASON for why something happens. It sucks. It kills the mystery.

What the FUCK was this post about? I dont care for an answer.