Yeah... its a good song by REM...
But I had lost my religion long before I first heard this song... :P
I guess it aaaall started one day when my science teacher (4th grade or 3rd?? I dont really remember) taught me that the earth was very very veeeery old, and that it took billions of years for it to "cool down" and become habitable, and then she mentioned something called "evoltions" or was it "ivolution" :P.
I remember a pic of this old dude with a fluffy white beard and simian features giving me the stink-eye from the pages of the text book, which in turn was right on top of this very weird pic of a chimp slowly losing body hair and straightening its back... eventually becoming an unshaven bloke with a club in his hand... (It was funny how each ape-man was mid-stride ... scrupulously covering his privates with his thigh :D)
I went home and questioned my mom...
Me: Ammaa ... wasnt the world created in a week or something... didnt Yahweh create adam from sand and eve from adams lower rib...
Amma: Of course daa... didnt u learn that in Sunday school?
Me: Yeah... but my science teacher said man started to stand up... and not be monkeys or something... and she said the earth didnt have water for billions of years... she is a christian... didnt she learn the bible!
Amma: (she had this look in her eyes, like she wanted to say "I was afraid of this") Umm well ...------ (Amma turns towards my sis... calls for backup...) DIIII SOWMIEEE!
Cheechi: Whaaat!
Amma: Come here! Help me explain ---- (turns bak to me)
Amma and Chechi: (finishing each others sentences) Daaa ... u must understand... the bible is like... a story... its not meant to be taken literally... when it says 7 days... it doesnt LITERALLY mean 7 days! It probably symbolizes how things started and slooowly came to be what it is today.
Me: (To self) Not to be taken literally?? What does that mean? Y is Amma so unsettled by this question? Is she afraid I'm going stop believing in God - be a bad person? Paavam Amma... she's..... wait a minute did she say "probably symbolizes"? Isnt she sure? Does she not believe? That Sunday school teacher taught that people who did not believe in God are not good... they will suffer in hell! No! Amma goes to church every Sunday... She is good... Its ok... Pheew! But am I good? I am questioning the Bible... I know I shouldnt... but... mmm
When I look back upon this tiny little incident NOW, I realize how efficiently "the system" had manipulated a child, molded him, put their ideas in his head and how efficiently they had covered up any leaks in case the child wanted to think outside the box. The manipulating, molding, leak-fixing properties of...
FEAR....
Worst is the leak-fixing... making the child afraid to question what he was taught... drawing a circle around some stories and made-up theories and asking him to be afraid to put a toe outside...
THIS... is were my atheism takes a sour twist and takes on the shades of antitheism....
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
THE JOB
This is my first post as a salaried person. Thats right! This free spirit has been shackled in the dungeons of corporate greed. Well, should I say greed? Mmmm... may be not, this company has quite respectable principles.
Nevertheless, it is still a "company", and I do genuinely feel constrained. I guess that is the norm.
Sundeep had shared a cartoon about how each one thinks he is the only one who thinks in a world of job-obsessed "automatons" aka "mindless sheep". I used to think the same way, that I was the only one thinking about anything worth thinking about : the universe, human spirit etc. But now I know, each one is thinking about something, although some may be thinking if Rakhi Sawant is actually gonna marry the winner of a show... Well I wont judge, each one with his/her own ideas of what is important. :D
There are several proverbs in malayalam that highlights the fact that, a human, cannot change his/her underlying uniqueness. Most of them are meant to be derogatory, but I find even those to be positive.
"Naaya nadukadalilum nakkiye kudikkuvollu" -- Even in the middle of the ocean, a dog will still drink by LAPPING the water
This one is meant to be an insult, but... to a dog, its simply a fact, a statement. The dog will probably think... "Well... duuh" and roll his eyes.
Yesterday, I wrote a module to bridge an old intra die communication protocol to a new one. After confirming the waveforms were as expected, I called it a day, and left work. In the lift I started thinking about how we spent so much time trying to mold something old to still be functional with something new, something better. We try to bridge the gap between two very different things, instead of choosing a side! And then I smiled in my head. Shackled and constrained I may be, but, I still remain the same old me. This dog, is still lapping up the water, even in the middle of the ocean. Yeah!
Nevertheless, it is still a "company", and I do genuinely feel constrained. I guess that is the norm.
Sundeep had shared a cartoon about how each one thinks he is the only one who thinks in a world of job-obsessed "automatons" aka "mindless sheep". I used to think the same way, that I was the only one thinking about anything worth thinking about : the universe, human spirit etc. But now I know, each one is thinking about something, although some may be thinking if Rakhi Sawant is actually gonna marry the winner of a show... Well I wont judge, each one with his/her own ideas of what is important. :D
There are several proverbs in malayalam that highlights the fact that, a human, cannot change his/her underlying uniqueness. Most of them are meant to be derogatory, but I find even those to be positive.
"Naaya nadukadalilum nakkiye kudikkuvollu" -- Even in the middle of the ocean, a dog will still drink by LAPPING the water
This one is meant to be an insult, but... to a dog, its simply a fact, a statement. The dog will probably think... "Well... duuh" and roll his eyes.
Yesterday, I wrote a module to bridge an old intra die communication protocol to a new one. After confirming the waveforms were as expected, I called it a day, and left work. In the lift I started thinking about how we spent so much time trying to mold something old to still be functional with something new, something better. We try to bridge the gap between two very different things, instead of choosing a side! And then I smiled in my head. Shackled and constrained I may be, but, I still remain the same old me. This dog, is still lapping up the water, even in the middle of the ocean. Yeah!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
P( 0 < P < 1 ) = 1??
I have this philosophy that nothing in this universe has a probability of absolute 1 or absolute 0. Doesnt it seem right?? I mean,
P(me suddenly teleporting to mars) != 0
P(u completing reading this sentence) != 1
But, consider this statement.
"Nothing in this universe has a probabilty of 1 or 0."
Now, what is the probability of this statement being true??.....
ie P(0 < P < 1) = ??
If it is 1 then it is 0. :P
That is, if the statement is true, then it is false....
So it must be 0.
Which means there ARE things with P = 1 or P = 0 .... right?? But that seems so wrong! But I just found an example of one!
YTF cant I go to sleep thinking of sheep jumping over fences or some such... why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
P(me suddenly teleporting to mars) != 0
P(u completing reading this sentence) != 1
But, consider this statement.
"Nothing in this universe has a probabilty of 1 or 0."
Now, what is the probability of this statement being true??.....
ie P(0 < P < 1) = ??
If it is 1 then it is 0. :P
That is, if the statement is true, then it is false....
So it must be 0.
Which means there ARE things with P = 1 or P = 0 .... right?? But that seems so wrong! But I just found an example of one!
YTF cant I go to sleep thinking of sheep jumping over fences or some such... why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sights & Sounds
As I crossed the Karnataka-TN border near Hosur, I started thinking about the futility of trying to remember stuff that I was seeing on the road. Funny writings, sign boards, ads anything that is worth mentioning to yourself in one's alone time. Anyway, by the time I was well into TN territory, I had quite a few sign boards that I wanted to mention on my blog. So, I kept repeating them in my head, adding new ones to the playlist as I saw them.
I think signs like the ones I'm about to mention were designed to kill the enthusiastic adventurer in you ...
1.)
2.) Death is natural.
You shouldnt cause it.
3.) Lane discipline gives long life
4.) Use your eyes. Do not lose them.
The next one was written behind a small van.
5.) Drive carefully. Childrens inside.
Ive forgotten a few.
Oh yea, of course....
"Kottayam 83km"
.
.
.
.
.
BRAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEE
CRASSSHHHHHHHHHHH
.
.
"Any time now ... that car is gonna run over me.... any time now .........'
.
.
"??Where??"
.
.
"Ok get up...... woooooo all black :P ...... "
.
.
.
"OUCH!!!"
LOL
Friday, June 5, 2009
Round Molecules
I see bedsheets crumpled ... the curves which are so difficult to replicate in a painting or sketch... But y? Am I thinking of the nights when I will watch her sleep?? But she has her back turned to me... that cant be a good sign .... hmmm ....
I search, and I search .... cursed with spells of insomnia ... when I feel like dropping down into that vortex of nothingness ... I want to spin and spin .... arms outstretched....
I wish I was schizophrenic ...
"You dont realize you had somethin, until you lose it" ...
What if I do realize what I have. Does that mean I wont lose it? No, it means .. I have already lost it.
LOL, realizing something you have is already lost. I want to laugh out of the agony.
Do I think that looking at shapes in the clouds is cool? I guess I do. Everything is evolutionary though. All that an animal does is based around a few instincts. So what is my instinct? I'm a male of the species. My instincts should all be directing me to procreate. Is that all that I actually, truly feel? All these layers on top of it, simply there to mask it out. But why? Wouldnt it have been more effective if it was just there alone. What is the USE of having so many feelings?
I guess it just is. I am cursed with this consciousness which is forever doomed to THINK. If all of my thoughts, all which I have had, could be erased, I would be free. I would become nothing. This constant buzzzzzzzz is the worst.
What do these things that I 'see' when I close my eyes mean? Why am I seeing a metal device, like a valve, opening its flap downwards. It looks so well machined. Grey.
I can explain everything! Everything! I can always think up a REASON for why something happens. It sucks. It kills the mystery.
What the FUCK was this post about? I dont care for an answer.
I search, and I search .... cursed with spells of insomnia ... when I feel like dropping down into that vortex of nothingness ... I want to spin and spin .... arms outstretched....
I wish I was schizophrenic ...
"You dont realize you had somethin, until you lose it" ...
What if I do realize what I have. Does that mean I wont lose it? No, it means .. I have already lost it.
LOL, realizing something you have is already lost. I want to laugh out of the agony.
Do I think that looking at shapes in the clouds is cool? I guess I do. Everything is evolutionary though. All that an animal does is based around a few instincts. So what is my instinct? I'm a male of the species. My instincts should all be directing me to procreate. Is that all that I actually, truly feel? All these layers on top of it, simply there to mask it out. But why? Wouldnt it have been more effective if it was just there alone. What is the USE of having so many feelings?
I guess it just is. I am cursed with this consciousness which is forever doomed to THINK. If all of my thoughts, all which I have had, could be erased, I would be free. I would become nothing. This constant buzzzzzzzz is the worst.
What do these things that I 'see' when I close my eyes mean? Why am I seeing a metal device, like a valve, opening its flap downwards. It looks so well machined. Grey.
I can explain everything! Everything! I can always think up a REASON for why something happens. It sucks. It kills the mystery.
What the FUCK was this post about? I dont care for an answer.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Namdroling journey
A bike gives u an un-paralleled sense of freedom ... and now that I have one, I can capitalize on the "I want to get lost" feeling sometimes...
It was on such a whim that I decided to journey to one of the largest tibetan settlements in India ...Namdroling ....
So that I can remember how much I used to act on whims when I'm older ...
1:45 am : Feeling down and out ...
1:46 am : Remembers Korrapati and Gokul talking abt Tibetan Monastery
1:47 am : Google maps ... "Tibetan Monastery, Karnataka" .... 2 results... "Show all results"..... 60+ results.... most are in a spot near Kushalnagar in south western karnataka....
1:50am : Get directions A: Forum Mall, Bangalore B: Kushalnagar .... distance 239km apprx travel time (by car) 4 hours 18 mins .... oooookkaaaaayyy ....(gulp)
1:52: OK ... set alarm for 5:30am ... draw route on piece of paper....
2:10 am: sleep...
5:35am : Go
Fact : The bangalore-mysore highway is simply AWESOME ... its like ...
Stretch of four lane road in front of campus x n times
Bougainvillae growing on the divider ... cows eating the flowers, thorns, leaves and all ... looooong and winding curves .... banked in places .... 100kmph turns are easy here... Speed bumps are there of course to bring u back down to earth (sometimes quite literally)
Stopped after abt an hour of continous riding to take a few snaps of a jasmine farm ...
Got lost near Mysore ....ended up in Infosys Campus (the grey building DOES look space age)
Fortunately, couple of northi IT professionals were there to point me in the right direction (albeit in choppy english :P)
Having left the famous highway .. I was apprehensive abt the condition of roads the rest of the way ... My fears proved grossly misplaced ... SH88 was just as good as Sh17 (just 2 lanes tho .. 4 wuldav been overkill ... traffic is virtually nonexistant...) .... blazing on I reached my destination in just over 31/2 hours ...
I knew i was in the right place coz every which way .... there were tibetans ...
Took 30 mins more to get to the monastery ... deep in the settlement ....
It was on such a whim that I decided to journey to one of the largest tibetan settlements in India ...Namdroling ....
So that I can remember how much I used to act on whims when I'm older ...
1:45 am : Feeling down and out ...
1:46 am : Remembers Korrapati and Gokul talking abt Tibetan Monastery
1:47 am : Google maps ... "Tibetan Monastery, Karnataka" .... 2 results... "Show all results"..... 60+ results.... most are in a spot near Kushalnagar in south western karnataka....
1:50am : Get directions A: Forum Mall, Bangalore B: Kushalnagar .... distance 239km apprx travel time (by car) 4 hours 18 mins .... oooookkaaaaayyy ....(gulp)
1:52: OK ... set alarm for 5:30am ... draw route on piece of paper....
2:10 am: sleep...
5:35am : Go
Fact : The bangalore-mysore highway is simply AWESOME ... its like ...
Stretch of four lane road in front of campus x n times
Bougainvillae growing on the divider ... cows eating the flowers, thorns, leaves and all ... looooong and winding curves .... banked in places .... 100kmph turns are easy here... Speed bumps are there of course to bring u back down to earth (sometimes quite literally)
Stopped after abt an hour of continous riding to take a few snaps of a jasmine farm ...
Got lost near Mysore ....ended up in Infosys Campus (the grey building DOES look space age)
Fortunately, couple of northi IT professionals were there to point me in the right direction (albeit in choppy english :P)
Having left the famous highway .. I was apprehensive abt the condition of roads the rest of the way ... My fears proved grossly misplaced ... SH88 was just as good as Sh17 (just 2 lanes tho .. 4 wuldav been overkill ... traffic is virtually nonexistant...) .... blazing on I reached my destination in just over 31/2 hours ...
I knew i was in the right place coz every which way .... there were tibetans ...
Took 30 mins more to get to the monastery ... deep in the settlement ....
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Of phrases and showers...
Today morning, when I was having a shower (ok... not a "shower" per say since the shower doesnt work) ... somehow, I ended up thinking abt the cool phrases/sentences that I had seen/heard. Like on previous occassions of my mind wandering to this particular subject, the immediate after-thought was "Ive GOT TO write them down somwer"... and then ofcourse was the picture of me reading them in my l8r life and smiling .... But... as always when this "ghost" of a thought went bak down into the waters... I was thinking "Naaa... I cant carry arnd a diary all the time ... and I frgt these phrases pretty soon after I've "engraved" them in my mind" ...
BUT WAIT!! NOW I HAVE A BLOG!! And this is EXACTLY the reason why I started one!! So that I can write watever... That is wat this post is abt ....
I'll put down anything I remember now ....
"No Cannes do" --- TOI article heading abt some film that didnt make it to Cannes!
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going (home) " --- BREAD "allegedly" a cliched joke in BH4.
Brian from Whose Line is it Anyway playin the dating game while wearing different hats... He is wearing a miner's hat (the one with an attached flash-light)
Brian : "I cant date u bcoz I'm a minor"
"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. " -- Upneet's Stat msg ..LOL
"Gr8 example of how too much of a good thing is bad; 'awesome' is good, but 'awful' is bad!!" ------ GWWSIFI2Y
"Congress shows DMK no Karuna" LOLOL -- TOI article on Manmohan refusing DMK more cabinet seats.
11th August 2009
"Do you think movies should try to spread social awareness?" -- SMS poll question on the TV channel ZOOM. Just shows the kind of channel it is... stupid.
.....
.....
I'll keep pushing this sentence down as I add more...
BUT WAIT!! NOW I HAVE A BLOG!! And this is EXACTLY the reason why I started one!! So that I can write watever... That is wat this post is abt ....
I'll put down anything I remember now ....
"No Cannes do" --- TOI article heading abt some film that didnt make it to Cannes!
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going (home) " --- BREAD "allegedly" a cliched joke in BH4.
Brian from Whose Line is it Anyway playin the dating game while wearing different hats... He is wearing a miner's hat (the one with an attached flash-light)
Brian : "I cant date u bcoz I'm a minor"
"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. " -- Upneet's Stat msg ..LOL
"Gr8 example of how too much of a good thing is bad; 'awesome' is good, but 'awful' is bad!!" ------ GWWSIFI2Y
"Congress shows DMK no Karuna" LOLOL -- TOI article on Manmohan refusing DMK more cabinet seats.
11th August 2009
"Do you think movies should try to spread social awareness?" -- SMS poll question on the TV channel ZOOM. Just shows the kind of channel it is... stupid.
.....
.....
I'll keep pushing this sentence down as I add more...
Monday, April 20, 2009
ICHI
Aaaaahhh .... that feeling. No work, boredome, knowing ur mind is gonna drift off into hostile territory if u stay idle... A hundred thousand uncorrelated things floating around like pale ghosts beneath the surface of a not-so-calm lake that u desperatley wish had more surface tension to prevent their intermittent escapes.
Having accomplished the first thing that I wanted to accomplish with my first blog in the above paragraph (Write something vague and mysterious so that when I and other people read it l8r, I'll come off as a cool person) .... let me move on.
Having accomplished the second thing that I wanted to accomplish with my first blog in the above paragraph (come off as an even more cool person) ... let me move on.
Ok this can go on forever. (is forever correct?? is it for ever?? Darn ghostly shapes!! Go down! Down I say!)
I want to write a para for the person (rather the first post of a person) who imbibed in me a sense of ur-not-living-life-the-carpe-diem-way...
In her post she mentioned about words that held a special charm for her, rhapsody, bougainvillae, quintessence ... and I thought... here's someone who has put down the "carp" that goes one in her head... for wat?? For the simple reason that she felt like doing it. Thank you fatlady... Honestly I had read your first blog entry a couple of months back (butler wanted me to read his, I followed the trail .. thats all)... and I've been thinkin abt starting one ever since... Today I've enf ghosts jumping up from beneath the surface to make a reasonably good post.
What a gr8 feeling when u put ur music player on shuffle and even if the probabilty of ur favourite song being played is inversely proportional to the number of songs in the list.... and still, the lifeless, un-intelligent, robotic, black (0) and white (1) gadget somehow jumps to ur favourite song!! I ended up with a smile on my face and a fleeting feeling of affection for my phone that surpassed the norms of human-machine emotional attachment levels.... as it subtly converted compressed 0's and 1's to Slash's awesome solo
Speaking of human-machine emotional attachments, y is it that I love the life-less piece of metal and plastic that gets me to office on time more than I love most human beings??
musing 1) Is it because it lets me travel without the hassle of public transportation in bangalore... (which involves me having to put one hand on my butt-cheek(s) expecting a sneeky hand down the back pocket)??
musing 2) May be its the 180ccs of fuel-air mixture that is ignited by two spark plugs with ...well ...machine like accuracy and timing...chunking out the raw power that I feel when I open the throttle a quarter of an inch??
musing 3) The times we had... just the two of us... the places we have been to... the sites and sounds we have experienced... the near death experience that we had..??
Prbbly its the 3rd...
The other day, after leaving a boring day at the office, I was speeding along on inner ring road when I saw a host of red lights in the distance... Oh! Im supposed to slow down and stop now! OK... after coming to a stop behind a ferrari-red maruti suzuki swift... I turned off the engine and crossed my arms and squatted into a more comfortable upright position.
Traffic!! Its always the same... A guy on a 220cc with a hot chic on his pillion... an old chap on a bajaj scooter, caught in a desperate balancing act with his accelerator... trying to keep the engine running, IT pro's on everything from a 20 year old yamaha 135 to a BMW/merc-clk, a middle class family in a white maruti 800.... everyone, from the hot chic to the CEO, impatient, cursing, honking....
And I look up... and I see one of the most beeeautiful scenes that nature has to offer... beams of orange-yellow sunlight in the waning hours of day... sneeking out thru rain clouds in the heavens... Ive always found this scene ...divine... other-wordly may b... I lift up my visor and smile ...like a retard... not caring for the fact that the hot chic is prbbly thinking that Im some kinda loon......I take in this little piece of serinity... and a let out a deep.. cleansing ..haaaaaaaaa....HONK!! HONK!! BEEEP!!
Here we go again... as the light switches from yellow to green... I think abt the opportunity for a small moment of peace that was offered to EVERYONE... and felt a little good abt myself for being one of the few who latched on to it! :D
I think I've opened the gates of a dam!! Things I wanna write about keep popping up... In the interest of carpe-diem I'm not gonna stifle the flow... So here goes!!
Damsel(s) in distress
What is it about a girl struggling to do something that can possibly hurt her physically that opens up this.... this.... fountain of care and wanting-to-help in a guy like me?? Most girls are shrewd to know that certain guys have this weakness... and feminine instincts do not let them pass on an opportunity ... and mind u ladies.. we are fully aware of this fact... yet we still end up soldering that piece of PCB... burning our own hands in the process and feeling good about ourselves!! Damn that primitive cerebrum!!
Roja to metallica
That gadget again!! It jumps from "chinna chinna asai" to "MASTER!!" ... changing my mood from open-green-meadows to wacking-guitar-on-floor...
Music... another gr8 mystery... even music follows the laws of mathematics (yeah Im a geek)... But, it has to strike that balance ... not follow it strictly... but follow it well enf to be still explainable with a couple of averaging and median calculations ... "so close no matter how faar" ..vanny!! music explained in one line!!
Sakura at NPL
May be its bcoz fatlady had mentioned extensively in her first post her musings at PS1... May be its bcoz I'm jobless right now at PS2.... watvr ... but, this word "sakura" .... is something that holds a special charm for me (sorry fatlady for plagiarism)
Sakura = japanese for cherry blossoms. When a cherry tree blossoms it sometimes completely covers ALL of the green of leaves ... a perfect blossom!! And they fall down gently like drizzling rain when a breeze blows (my knowledge is based on a couple of jap movies and a handful of anime ok).... and although I never saw one at NPL, Delhi... there was a day there when I realised I wasnt looking hard enf!
Everytime I would encounter a mention of "sakura" in a movie (read Last Samurai) or Anime (read Samurai Champloo) I felt ...well...I donno disappointed mayb... that nothing with that level of beauty and serenity attached to it existed where I lived... (this was like 1.5 months into the 2 month PS1 program) .... yet one fine morning as I was walking along the boulevard leading up to the front doors of NPL... something fell ever so lightly on my head. Hoping that its not the excrements of one of the numerous birds that inhabit the ancient trees, I gently feel what it is that is on top of my head... Turns out to be a petal ... a yellow petal... from a tree that was FULL of yellow petals!! So much yellow that the green of leaves was simply non-existent... and I remember SAKURA!! Although sakura blossoms are rose/pink the sight was just as beautiful... and as a light wind blew ... more of it started "flowing" down .... and I stood ther with my arms a little outstretched in front of me ... looking up... only to be interrupted by a scientist with a wry smirk on his face who passed by and snorted (at me mayb??) Shame on him!!
As I hopped up the stairs to the front doors, I started wondering... where was this tree before?? Why didnt I see it for 1.5 months?? Was it always like that?? Or just today?? As I dug deep into my memories... I realized I simply did not SEE this tree... It was always there .. and since the seasons hadnt changed since I was there, it must have been flowering since the first day I was there... but y 2day?? Answer... I wasnt looking hard enf...
Mayb this is enf... If I write more ... Ill miss my lunch ... and I feel like doing nothing again... so chao
PS: ichi means 1 in jap :P
Having accomplished the first thing that I wanted to accomplish with my first blog in the above paragraph (Write something vague and mysterious so that when I and other people read it l8r, I'll come off as a cool person) .... let me move on.
Having accomplished the second thing that I wanted to accomplish with my first blog in the above paragraph (come off as an even more cool person) ... let me move on.
Ok this can go on forever. (is forever correct?? is it for ever?? Darn ghostly shapes!! Go down! Down I say!)
I want to write a para for the person (rather the first post of a person) who imbibed in me a sense of ur-not-living-life-the-carpe-diem-way...
In her post she mentioned about words that held a special charm for her, rhapsody, bougainvillae, quintessence ... and I thought... here's someone who has put down the "carp" that goes one in her head... for wat?? For the simple reason that she felt like doing it. Thank you fatlady... Honestly I had read your first blog entry a couple of months back (butler wanted me to read his, I followed the trail .. thats all)... and I've been thinkin abt starting one ever since... Today I've enf ghosts jumping up from beneath the surface to make a reasonably good post.
What a gr8 feeling when u put ur music player on shuffle and even if the probabilty of ur favourite song being played is inversely proportional to the number of songs in the list.... and still, the lifeless, un-intelligent, robotic, black (0) and white (1) gadget somehow jumps to ur favourite song!! I ended up with a smile on my face and a fleeting feeling of affection for my phone that surpassed the norms of human-machine emotional attachment levels.... as it subtly converted compressed 0's and 1's to Slash's awesome solo
Speaking of human-machine emotional attachments, y is it that I love the life-less piece of metal and plastic that gets me to office on time more than I love most human beings??
musing 1) Is it because it lets me travel without the hassle of public transportation in bangalore... (which involves me having to put one hand on my butt-cheek(s) expecting a sneeky hand down the back pocket)??
musing 2) May be its the 180ccs of fuel-air mixture that is ignited by two spark plugs with ...well ...machine like accuracy and timing...chunking out the raw power that I feel when I open the throttle a quarter of an inch??
musing 3) The times we had... just the two of us... the places we have been to... the sites and sounds we have experienced... the near death experience that we had..??
Prbbly its the 3rd...
The other day, after leaving a boring day at the office, I was speeding along on inner ring road when I saw a host of red lights in the distance... Oh! Im supposed to slow down and stop now! OK... after coming to a stop behind a ferrari-red maruti suzuki swift... I turned off the engine and crossed my arms and squatted into a more comfortable upright position.
Traffic!! Its always the same... A guy on a 220cc with a hot chic on his pillion... an old chap on a bajaj scooter, caught in a desperate balancing act with his accelerator... trying to keep the engine running, IT pro's on everything from a 20 year old yamaha 135 to a BMW/merc-clk, a middle class family in a white maruti 800.... everyone, from the hot chic to the CEO, impatient, cursing, honking....
And I look up... and I see one of the most beeeautiful scenes that nature has to offer... beams of orange-yellow sunlight in the waning hours of day... sneeking out thru rain clouds in the heavens... Ive always found this scene ...divine... other-wordly may b... I lift up my visor and smile ...like a retard... not caring for the fact that the hot chic is prbbly thinking that Im some kinda loon......I take in this little piece of serinity... and a let out a deep.. cleansing ..haaaaaaaaa....HONK!! HONK!! BEEEP!!
Here we go again... as the light switches from yellow to green... I think abt the opportunity for a small moment of peace that was offered to EVERYONE... and felt a little good abt myself for being one of the few who latched on to it! :D
I think I've opened the gates of a dam!! Things I wanna write about keep popping up... In the interest of carpe-diem I'm not gonna stifle the flow... So here goes!!
Damsel(s) in distress
What is it about a girl struggling to do something that can possibly hurt her physically that opens up this.... this.... fountain of care and wanting-to-help in a guy like me?? Most girls are shrewd to know that certain guys have this weakness... and feminine instincts do not let them pass on an opportunity ... and mind u ladies.. we are fully aware of this fact... yet we still end up soldering that piece of PCB... burning our own hands in the process and feeling good about ourselves!! Damn that primitive cerebrum!!
Roja to metallica
That gadget again!! It jumps from "chinna chinna asai" to "MASTER!!" ... changing my mood from open-green-meadows to wacking-guitar-on-floor...
Music... another gr8 mystery... even music follows the laws of mathematics (yeah Im a geek)... But, it has to strike that balance ... not follow it strictly... but follow it well enf to be still explainable with a couple of averaging and median calculations ... "so close no matter how faar" ..vanny!! music explained in one line!!
Sakura at NPL
May be its bcoz fatlady had mentioned extensively in her first post her musings at PS1... May be its bcoz I'm jobless right now at PS2.... watvr ... but, this word "sakura" .... is something that holds a special charm for me (sorry fatlady for plagiarism)
Sakura = japanese for cherry blossoms. When a cherry tree blossoms it sometimes completely covers ALL of the green of leaves ... a perfect blossom!! And they fall down gently like drizzling rain when a breeze blows (my knowledge is based on a couple of jap movies and a handful of anime ok).... and although I never saw one at NPL, Delhi... there was a day there when I realised I wasnt looking hard enf!
Everytime I would encounter a mention of "sakura" in a movie (read Last Samurai) or Anime (read Samurai Champloo) I felt ...well...I donno disappointed mayb... that nothing with that level of beauty and serenity attached to it existed where I lived... (this was like 1.5 months into the 2 month PS1 program) .... yet one fine morning as I was walking along the boulevard leading up to the front doors of NPL... something fell ever so lightly on my head. Hoping that its not the excrements of one of the numerous birds that inhabit the ancient trees, I gently feel what it is that is on top of my head... Turns out to be a petal ... a yellow petal... from a tree that was FULL of yellow petals!! So much yellow that the green of leaves was simply non-existent... and I remember SAKURA!! Although sakura blossoms are rose/pink the sight was just as beautiful... and as a light wind blew ... more of it started "flowing" down .... and I stood ther with my arms a little outstretched in front of me ... looking up... only to be interrupted by a scientist with a wry smirk on his face who passed by and snorted (at me mayb??) Shame on him!!
As I hopped up the stairs to the front doors, I started wondering... where was this tree before?? Why didnt I see it for 1.5 months?? Was it always like that?? Or just today?? As I dug deep into my memories... I realized I simply did not SEE this tree... It was always there .. and since the seasons hadnt changed since I was there, it must have been flowering since the first day I was there... but y 2day?? Answer... I wasnt looking hard enf...
Mayb this is enf... If I write more ... Ill miss my lunch ... and I feel like doing nothing again... so chao
PS: ichi means 1 in jap :P
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