The Universal Song

Of late, I have been finding myself in situations that involve watching or reading something that I have watched or read before, and finding something new from the experience. I am not sure if it is my ability to understand things that has changed or improved, or if it is just a new found skill to better quantify and solidify when and how I have novel thoughts. I guess whatever the reason for this change is, what matters is that, I am aware of these new thoughts, and whether or not that has to do with improved thinking or improved awareness is beside the point.

I was just now re-watching Jonathan Millers atheism tapes 1-6 which I believe I downloaded from someone on DC++ back in 2nd year of BITS. I had watched it back then, and I believe another time after that (perhaps while I was in Bangalore). So, that makes this the 3rd time I am watching this series. What made me pause the last video in the series and write this just now, is the fact that, throughout this re-watching I've been hearing or understanding or extrapolating thoughts that I did not hear/understand/extrapolate before (or at least have no memory of it. Oh man! I hope I am not getting too old and just losing my memory. That is also an explanation to why I am finding "novel" thoughts, like a person with Alzheimer's (I took 2 minutes to remember the name of the disease, I am definitely losing my mind!). Anyway, this 3rd theory of why I am finding new understanding from old shows does also not preclude the need for me to write this, so on I go...).

First of all I will express some wonder on the very fact that my mind is finding new understanding from old information (whatever the cause, Alzheimer's or otherwise!). The human mind is such a convoluted blob of states and networks that, even if the exact same external inputs are given, the output has large variation. I guess the realization to be had is, the mind has not just external inputs, but a significant number of internal stimuli. This is not news, everyone understands that we have "moods". What is more relevant then is that, our "moods" also shape our (supposedly) logical thoughts. Now, by definition logical thoughts are supposed to be independent of moods, but, since I am a unable to think outside the bounds set by a brain that is the product of evolution, I am never entirely free from this, this evolutionary baggage as it were.

Now, the new thought that I specifically wanted to write about is an extension of the more general idea of evolution. I have (until now) used the word evolution mostly in the context of biological entities, how and why living things are the way they are. What I realized just a few minutes ago, is that evolution does not start with primordial bacteria and end with complex organisms. You see, one of the most profound revelations that evolution by natural selection gives is that we are strictly speaking, machines. Why we are the way we are is a manifestation of material things, there is no need to invoke the supernatural to explain morality or empathy or success of the species. Now, since bacteria themselves are much more complex than say, clumps of hydrogen and helium floating around in mostly empty space, why not apply the same evolutionary arguments to how bacteria came to be. Evolution is blind, unfeeling and without purpose. We see the results of the process and can look back and wonder. Just like feathers on a bird seem so inexplicable in the way they came to be from small changes. Like Dawkins affirms, at all points of evolution, the small variation must have an advantage if it is to propagate. No trait survives simply because it has potential. A feather does not start out as a pimple that is completely useless. The more likely explanation is that, feathers are a re-molded version of a variation that helped in some other way than the ability to fly. Now, what I want to try and make the reader (my future self) do is realize that a similar argument can be made about how the first primordial life came to be, starting with the beginning of the universe. In fact, the beginning of the universe itself is a part of it. The reality of existence is very much an advantageous trait! Inflation of the universe with non homogeneous matter-energy distribution, is an advantageous trait. Clumps of hydrogen gas gravitating into denser blobs is an advantageous trait. And so on.

Once I had this thought, I started to see the two people in the video I was just watching as this weird amalgamation of haphazardly put together advantageous traits. I saw them (and by extension myself and all complex multi-cell organisms) as an analogy to the feather, so, weird in their shape and form, yet so apparently useful and apt for their purpose, but in reality, what they were was the result of a blind unfeeling indifferent process. Think about it this way. As living things we are so inefficient. I mean, why don't we all have minds that float in non biological brains and derive energy directly from the sun using some sort of advanced 99% efficient photosynthesis. It would be like asking why birds have feathers, why not an anti gravity gene that lets them float with much less energy expenditure. It is because evolution has no goal, no ultimate purpose. It only builds and reshapes what already exists. And I was able to see human beings as this distorted Frankensteinish creature of different things that were re-molded blindly and unfeelingly and purposelessly into this blob of matter. I guess that is how an alien species of similar intelligence would view us . They might say, "You guys breath oxygen and use ATP-ADP synthesis to release energy! Ha! So weird!". But an alien species of superior intelligence would simply see us and add us to the list of covers of the same universal song.

The rote learner

July 19, 2014

Today was a typical Saturday of recent months. Inevitably, I followed the same pattern of; working late on Friday night, taking the car out to buy dinner; browsing through Netflix for a movie to watch while having a beer, failing to find one such movie or show that piques my interest, eventually browsing my own collection and watching something, sleeping, waking up earlier than I would have liked, completing the rest of the movie to which I had fallen asleep to, taking the car out to buy take out lunch from Little India Cafe, contentedly melting into a stupor of carbohydrate and meat induced coma, then waking up in the evening to mull over the fact that I had wasted another Saturday. Mind you, the fact that I had wasted another Saturday was not cause for great sadness or concern to me, it was... it just was.

It was then I took notice of the Asimov novel that I had bought from Leigh's favorite books on Murphy St about a month back. I had read the first section or two, but it had laid abandoned and unread on my bed for weeks thereafter, not because I had found the story unappealing, nor because I was too busy to read it (several wasted Saturdays and Sundays come to mind, not to mention weeknights), but perhaps because I have settled in to a routine that does not involve books of any kind, textbooks or otherwise.

Back in Bangalore in a big company, at least I had colleagues with whom I could discuss books that we had read recently. I guess being in a small company does have small and unexpected shortcomings (the work and the fun outweighs these small setbacks of course, in fact, I wouldn't have thought about this shortcoming if I weren't writing this... or perhaps that itself is something to think about). Nevertheless, I picked up the book where I had left off. And almost read the whole thing in one sitting. I have it now right next to me, just one more section to go. But I stopped in between to write this because, inexplicably, I wanted to revisit this long unattended canvas of my thoughts. It is interesting the things that had to happen to cause this inexplicable want (nothing is inexplicable remember? you just don't have enough data). But I am sure the recent documentary I watched called "Mortified nation", the book that I am reading, the work environment right now, all had some role to play.

I stopped midway in a section to muse over the nature of humanity (not surprising given what the story of Foundation deals with). But it is not about that I want to write about. I suddenly remembered the discussion I had with Alan, about how offsets in our sense amps were reduced when bias currents were increased. More than the techincal aspects of the discussion, what I was mulling over right now was the fact that I had fallen victim to something that I vehemently have fought to avoid all my academic life: rote learning, also known as parroting, spoon-feeding, word vomiting, exam learning etc. Come to think of it, I have always looked on people who cannot derive what they have learned from basic principles with more than a mild sprinkling of condescension. So I must not spare the rod on my self, right? In fact I should apply it all the more vigorously (also in tune with some masochistic qualities, but that's beside the point).

Why did I believe yesterday that increasing Vgs of a transistor reduces offset? Of course, there is precedent. I had used that very fact in all my comparators, sense amps, amplifiers whenever offset was an issue. Coupled with the long standing albeit opportunistically exercised philosophy of sticking to my believes, I argued the point with Alan. What scares me now, when I look back upon the discussion, was how absolute my conviction was. Even though Alan's counter arguments made logical sense to me, I did not start questioning my assumption until after two or three rounds of attempted justifications. In the end he was right, I was wrong. And I guess I can at least be mildly re-conciliated by the fact that I accepted that I was wrong with some grace, like a good scientist should (please note I use the word scientist in a very basic sense. I am no PhD, but I like to think that, since I use science or at least a tiny iota of it in my work, I am an adherent to the scientific principles).

So why was I wrong? Where did I make the mistake? At what point, could I have avoided making this mistake? What is clear is that I had fallen victim to the dangers of dogmatic believes. Believes that do not nurture the question of their origin. Yes it is true that for the same bias current, while designing a sense amp or amplifier, you can reduce offset by increasing Vgs at the cost of gain. And this is of course what I had used many times before, with results too. The danger it seems, is in using the fact so many times that you forget the conditions under which that fact remains true, in my particular case, the condition that was forgotten was that bias current has to remain the same. Like muscle memory for riding bicycles or swimming or running, my brain (and by extension human brains) seems to have a similar simplification for thoughts and ideas as well. By the time of the debate with Alan yesterday, the "fact" that increasing Vgs decreases offset had become muscle memory, rote-learned, ready to be parroted, and I had lost the ability to see the fact as true only under specific conditions. Rather, in my brain, it had become truth absolute, while in the rest of the universe, the real truth was, increasing Vgs without increasing bias current reduces offset.

I used to feel pity and condescension towards humans who stick to blind believes and never really counted myself among them. But this little incident and all the events including reading Foundation, got me thinking, am I starting to be easy prey for blind believes too? Or perhaps I have always been a victim, and didn't fully realize how susceptible I was until now. I do feel happy that I was able to understand and correct a false belief, as well as process its origins. But how many more lurk in that muddled mass of nerve cells that I have never seen or touched, but has forever been my, the individual's home? I can hope that I continue to be surrounded by people who question, for questions and incessant questions are the only way out of a false reality. I can take this incident as evidence of some addition to that elusive thing called wisdom, for I am now on better guard for another (unintentional) rote-learner. Me.

Portmanteau

Iceman did not believe in god. God did not exist for him. In fact, he was so sure that God did not exist, that he sometimes wished that God did exist.

The ambiguity of answers to questions that plagues his mind troubled and intrigued him simultaneously. It was perhaps the trouble seeker in him that was intrigued by this very fact. Without this ambiguity, if the answers to his questions were defined and codified, he could not get pleasure from asking himself and others these questions again and again. For pleasure is indeed to be had in repetition, contrary to common conception. The difference is, the repetition does not guarantee the same result, it is the randomness of his answers, the additive white noise, the errors in transmission that made the deliberation on mundane and often deemed unworthy queries pleasurable.


------------------------------
6 May 2012: The usual

"Women", he started with an attempted look of disgust, "you people seem to be born with a guide book, 'How to string along men who fall in love with you'".

She was offended, but couldn't help letting out a quick giggle, as she was amused too.

He quickly added, "But of course, that is not fair to you guys, I mean, I myself seem to have been born with a guide book titled, 'How to get strung along by women who you fall in love with.'".

This time, they both ended up laughing, she, as she would at a joke on TV, while he at his own helpless misery.

-----

He asked her, "have you ever seen your parents  work together for a prolonged period of time? And I am talking about a time when you were old enough to observe and judge people, not when you were young and riding in the front of Chetak scooters." She paused, she knew why he was asking this question, and she was afraid that her answer would prove him right.

"Oh... and what do you think that age is?", she asked, intending to stall him. Her discomfort and attempted segue was answer enough for him. But he humored her, "I'm talking about that age when you stop trusting your friends completely, when you start building walls around yourself to keep people at a distance, when you start putting conditionals around your code".

"Conditionals?" she asked with a perplexed expression.

"Yes, conditionals; if and case statements. You start adding them to your code, replicating existing parts, modifying them to give slightly different outputs for different inputs. Of course much of this is done sub-consciously, we humans seem to be have an innate tool in our brains that does this for us, but unfortunately, tools don't leave comments. Only few conditionals will be added intentionally and with full awareness, and here you might add some notes that help you recall why you are making this change of behavior..."

She, to her own surprise, listened with interest to all of his poorly disguised allegorical statements and found that it all made sense to her. He went on, "...and so, while before your code was simple, elegant and efficient, now it becomes ugly, convoluted and unreadable. Now it becomes very difficult for someone else to read your code and understand it."

Naturally, the only thing that she caught from this was that he called her code "ugly".

"Oh! So you think my code is convoluted and ugly is it?". He was expecting this a moment after he made the statement. "If its so ugly, then why do you want to be with me?", she cried.

Gathering himself, he said, "I saw a few outputs from you for certain small set of inputs that I gave, which I liked more than any outputs I had seen before." A twinkle shone in his eyes as he commented himself for the quick recovery and continued, "I know that that small set of inputs is not enough to characterize your entire code, but at least I know that it has the capability to produce truly wonderful results. I also know that I may not be able to replicate those inputs in a different setting and environment..."

"Ah! So what if you are never able to get those outputs you loved so much from me again?"

"Well... if I were to have full access to the source code", he simpered, unable to contain a sly smile as she blushed, "then I could spent an entire lifetime reading it, understanding it, working out all the necessary paths to take to get those beautiful outputs, and finally figuring out what inputs to give to get them...". As he was saying this, he saw the flaw in his argument, he blinked and looked away, the smile vanishing from his face; what if one of the required inputs was intimately and inseparably tied to the original environment they were in. What if it was impossible to exercise the said paths, outside of that environment?

As he raised his eyes to look back at her sweet little face, he saw that she was smiling: a sad but knowing smile.

"Damn it all!", he thought, "Damn it all to fucking hell!".


--------
His name was I., Mr. I.. I. was a geek.

I. like most people, thought that generally, writers were  secluded, reserved, unsociable people. But isnt publishing something you wrote a civilized way of standing up and shouting, "Hey, you all! This is me! This is what I am thinking about! I want to know if you guys think what I am thinking about is worth thinking about..." I. could now see that authors were not so different after all, they too were looking for society to acknowledge their existence. The only difference being, most of them were probably aware that that was what they were doing.

Weird dreams...

Feb 2nd 2011

Sis gets re-married into the same family, coz they need local help! WTF! No details on the groom or what happened to Podu! I see myself looking murderously at everyone during the ceremony, and of course I'm not talking to anyone!

I go into the office bathroom to take a dump. But, the walls between closets are so short that there is no chance for privacy! I see Poovaih squatting on the nearest one and he gives me a wide smile! Somehow (fortunately) only his face is visible! I get the hell out of there...

There was something going on (a social gathering may be), and we are about to leave. I see a white skoda and ask my parents whose it is. Parents smile a wide smile and dont say anything. Then I realize...they had bought a new car and was trying to surprise me. But, I was angry at them for not consulting me before buying a car. I go into a diatribe and reflect on the silence of my parents. I was happy with the choice of the model, but the colour! Oh and all this happens on the side of a road, in a hilly area, with plantations and cliffs, mist and leaves. I can relate to the me-angry-at-parents-buying-stuff-without-consulting-me, but the location? That IS weird. Also, it was a Skoda "Altis" or "A-something". It was not an octavia or a laura. Somehow I confused skoda with toyota.

Feb 4, 2011
I am on a beach. Jack is with me. We are running up and down, skirting the water and the waves, happy, smiling and carefree. I run onto something with small bumps, like a huge bubble wrap. It looks and feels organic. Jack too starts examining it. Its black on the underside, and pale white on the surface. I slowly ponder whether its a giant piece of skin of a whale or an orca. Scene cuts to previous day(?), and Kerri Russel(WTH!) is selling fish! We bargain a little and I pay some 15k for a whole bunch. Scene cuts to today, and I'm buying fish from other wholesalers! Intermittently, my credit card mini-statement keeps scrolling in red letters in my vision! This is how I'm reminded of spending huge money for the stock I bought yesterday. This time, though the prices were quoted high, turns out the market price was under 10k. For some reason, the giant fish skin I found on the beach attests the lower price (as if its proof that this beach gets a lot of fish). I'm thinking, "Did Keri Russel rip me off? Was I taken with her beauty and agree upon a high price in a daze? I'm so stupid when it comes to beautiful women... baaaaka!"

Feb 5, 2011
Some new chick at work (vague featured) tells me that I need to inject Xs into some pinmux path always. I do it. Then Kiran comes and tells me that you cant do that always because it conflicts with what he is doing (BTW, Kiran was not in the cube next to me, but was somewhere over the wall). Then Shrini comes and explains the exact scenario under which I should inject Xs. He tries to tell me how to do it, but it is pretty obvious to me once I understand it. So I tell him I have done stuff like this before and that he can leave it to me. Shrini looks impressed and goes on his way. Oh, and some gulti software(?) guy had called me earlier to ask me about the same path, and I had asked him to come to my cube so that I can explain it to him. He comes, and turns out to be a total nerd (stuttering, weak body posture). Then, another gulti fellow comes by and jovially asks me (he seems to be a fun sorta guy), "Do you know this guy?". They sorta start wrestling, like two brothers usually do, in my cube, at work! But I'm not pissed about it, rather I'm sorta smiling as I look on and may be I was envious? Turns out the new guy also wants to know about the path and so I'm about to explain it to both of 'em. Suddenly the power goes. We all sit in the dark relaxing and conversing about weird shit. After a long while, the power comes back and everyone starts moving around again. I tell the gulti guys that I need a coffee to go on (Oh yeah, all this was while I was about to leave!) I'm walking down a corridor, and I see Saj. He doesnt look too happy. Of course I dont ask him what the matter is, and go on my way. I make "coffee" using some weird looking brown crumbs from a glass bowl. I come back to my cube. Later we hear a loud "krrrrrrt", the sound of a steel shutter being pulled down. I stand up and look around to identify the source, and I see that Saj's office has been shut (which is weirdly next to the cafeteria, in place of Shaju's office), by some sodexo(?) guy. Saj is nowhere to be seen. We all are a little puzzled. It's obvious that everyone is thinking if something bad has happened to the project! But, Shrini and others try to act non-chalant and continue with their work.

March 15, 2011 (Just before waking up: a little lucid)
We are having an "outdoors" day at school-cum-college-cum-work. I call it that because the people I saw in the dream are from all 3 of those places! And this happens at Ammachiveedu. A faction had left the "school" - a very fascist faction. On this day though, they have joined our side(?) to fight. But I don't like it because they are too hard lined. Me and Deepak Malani suit up in a hostel building and ask some other semi-hardliners to stick together. But as we come down the stairs, we find that they have gone and joined the fascist guys, and we are alone.

Now, I'm into the game. I creep to the back of Ammachiveedu where I bravely stand up and look out into the fields. I see (tall girl with sleepy eyes from BITS... Lita Das?) and 1 more. The attack begins. She throws a stone at me. I through back. Malani(?) is just watching all this and not participating. I try to flank her. I find a few crude spears lying about. From behind cover I pick up one. And as I am doing so, I see Meenu Simon coming from the front. She should have seen me and could have easily attacked me. But somehow I am invisible to her. I try to strike her with a spear - after a couple of failed attempts (of which she was still oblivious), I strike and win. Now, I go ahead and climb the big metal fence that has been erected on Ammachiveed's property boundaries. And for some reason Aamir Khan is there! And as I climb people are impressed by my agility. I am climbing to the tune of Anbil Avan from Vinnaithandi Varuvaaya. Somehow I am being compared against Tejesh for my agility. I wake up at this point!


October 3, 2012
Afternoon nap on the couch downstairs at 123 Blackwelder Ct. Apt 101

For some reason, I'm in Ludhiana (or some other similar sounding north Indian city). But the sky line is like that of a western city (tall skyscrapers). I'm in a car. Cops stop me. Weirdly, the cops are american.  Not sure what the violation was. Seems to be something minor (broken tail light?). Neways, suddenly I'm in another car. This one is like a zipcar, rented (I think the old one was rented too). I keep passing by this area where two young college students are ushering groups of students/parents to go on some sort of guided "tour". One of the women is black. The other is white. And they are ushering people into going to tours on opposite sides of a road. Why am I stopping here?

Suddenly, achachan is driving me (he has picked me up from somwhere). We again pass by the area with the two women ushering people. I tell him about the cop giving me a ticket of $250, which I couldnt pay immediately because I didnt have enough balance. But apparently now I do.

Cut to home (Kottayam).  I seem to have come back. Amma is also there. I apparently took a train from Ludhiana instead of a flight. I seem to have forgotten to give back the keys of the zipcar. Achachan and Amma are upset that I'm still irresponsible. Something about the ticket was also not taken care of. For some reason, coming on the train is ultimately going to cost me more than if I had come by flight, what with all the fines that I now have to pay! Somebody named Kurup is involved with the rental car. Who is it?


December 16, 2012 : Before phone call wakes me up at 8am
---------------------
I am at "home" but it is not home. I feel like it is home, but the front porch and the insides of the house look more like Amayannoor house rather than my own. The porch is wide, big, made from marble and next to a driveway. I'm sitting casually on the porch floor, with two knives, fixing something. Achachan is on the porch too, sitting on a chair (a long armed one?) and reading newspapers.

Suddenly, a small hatchback pulls into the drive way. And lo! it is Barack Obama! I'm quite impressed by the fact that he drives such a simple, down-to-earth car. I quickly stash the knives behind one of the marble pillars, knowing that, though Obama might seem to be coming alone, security forces probably already have a few snipers aimed at my head already, and it might not be a good idea to approach the president of the USA with knives hid behind my back!

Obama seems to know our family on a professional level. He gets out of the car with one of his daughters (she is quite young 6-7 may be), and smiles at me. I quickly tidy my self up; I roll down my sweat pants which were rolled up to the knees, straighten my collar and walk up to him to shake hands. He knows my name, and congratulates me on getting into a great college and comments me on my studies. He asks if I could give some pointers to his daughter regarding her studies and leaves her with me. He goes to greet achachan, and they start talking about banking stuff. Apparently Obama has come to consult my dad about the banking crisis (lol).

Meanwhile, I am entertaining the kid. She tells me that she likes music, and is not very good at sciency stuff. I tell her, that that is perfectly fine, since music too is physics (geek). She is very surpised, as I try to explain to her why music is also a science. Later I take her inside the house to meet Amma, and she runs around freely (I'm reminded of Heidi while I write this...) ...

Call from home wakes me up! I wonder if I would have remembered any of this if the call hadn't come. As always, dreams are so mysterious. Did I dream it much earlier in the night and just remember it as I was waking up, or was I dreaming the moment my Mom called?

Macro Physics

Why do we do the things we do? What are we doing when we do the things we do?

Lately I've had an image of the entire universe as one physical/chemical reaction. We are part of this gigantic multi-pronged reaction just happening. Just like H2 + O => H2O, this reaction is apathetic, completely unaware of itself, non-judging, non-feeling: it just happens.

The picture I have is that of blobs of particles protruding from a flat space and toucing, interacting with each other. These blobs of particles are us, or animals, or any complex union of particles.

Because that's all we are. A bunch of particles that like to stick together.

People usually attribute a "soul" or "spirit" to the observer that is within us. For me it has become obvious that thoughts and the identity of "me" are also manifestations of this gigantic reaction.

Thoughts <= neurons firing <= electrochemical reactions <= basic physics

What I'm trying to say is, all the shit that we do is just like a simple event happening because of basic laws of physics, albeit at just a much much bigger scale.

Its hard to imagine it because we all naturally keep our sense of "self" disparate from the our sense of inanimate objects. Once we get over that infatuation, its easy to see humans and animals and everything for what they really are: macro particles interacting according to the laws of physics.

Again, when I say "interacting according to the laws of physics" we tend to picture two things colliding, or a charge moving through a field. The next step in seeing what I see is to get over this delusion and understand that me writing this and you reading this are all ultimately caused by physics. My decision to write and your decision to read are not something independent of simpler chemical reactions happening in the universe. Of course, I say "simpler", but the reactions don't have any understanding of simple or complex. As always they just happen. No judgement, no feeling. Period.

The dimension of time

I was reading Dracula on my new smartphone, waiting for 2pm when I would have to go to class. And as is usually the case, after reading a few pages of anything, I felt sleepy. I tucked myself in under the sheets, closed my eyes and tried to catch some shut-eye. But, as always, the mind wanders and this time it wandered on to the nature of time.

My blog has been reduced to an outlet for my weird thoughts off late: weird thoughts I believe are worth preserving.


I suddenly had this picture of 4-D space! Something that is very hard to imagine and harder to put into words. Time was just like space; stretched out in both directions, orthogonal to everything else. It was easy to picture this because I already believed that everything is predictable. What happens to anything and everything can be predicted. This would in turn mean that the direction that everything and anything would go in, was all already known. That is when I saw time as something stretched out, something on which we are travelling in one direction.

This spawned another thought. Just like in the spatial dimensions, there must be such a thing as momentum in time. Momentum in time would make something go along the time axis in the same straight (time)line! Everything I see seem to have this momentum, because everything I see is moving ahead in time. Which means some event gave momentum to all things in the time dimension. And it appears that, since everything is moving along time at the same speed, that everything has some "m" that is equal for all things. The "m" would be the equivalent of mass in spatial dimensions: something that determines how fast a thing moves in time when it is "kicked".


But it seems we havent yet figured out how to create these "kicks"; ie, change our momentum in time. This also means that if at all we figure out how to kick ourselves in time so that our momentum is reversed, we would not be "aware" of it. Because "awareness" stems from temporally spaced firings of neurons. If we manage to kick ourselves in time, we would simply reverse all that neuron firings and go literally, "un-aware".

I wonder if I can write down some equations with t in place of x and see how it pans out. Like:

"P" = "m"x(t2 - t1)/ ("t2" - "t1") or some shit like that.

Hmm, what is "t" here? With respect to what is time changing? I donno! I have to go to class!

Addendum:
When I said "things seem to have the same momentum in time" I made the mistake of defining "things" with respect to spatial dimensions. That is, a book is a "thing" because it is separate from other things wrt to 3D space. But in the dimension of time, it must be something else that defines what a "thing" is. So in that case, it obviates the necessity of every"thing" having had the same "m", because wrt to time, everything that is disparate in space is still just one thing.

Come to think of it, I guess Einstein had an idea of what it was! It must be something related to velocity since things that have a velocity wrt to another experience differences in the flow of time. But wait, velocity here is defined in spatial dimensions, and I defined a "thing" as something moving in 3D space again! WTF... its all so frikkin entangled!

FIRST POST WHILE DRRUNK!!!!!!!!

KOOONICHIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I just had a revelation. mmm make the "i" capital baaaaaaaaaaka. "delete the g in the"... baaaaaakaaaa.

soooookkkaaaaa. the reveleation is:- i look at things and abstaract it to tits simple for,. But others somehow are able to see the details and the troubles that go into that "thing". I am not. I abstract. I assign a pattern. My brain "ore no brain" is too abstracting!!!! WTCFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Idecided to write this blog... so that i dont forget this revelatio...... huuhhh i m surprised that i can spell revelation in this state. BUTTTT ' daaakedooooo" i've had to correct the spelling of everything else!!!!! hontoniiiii bakkkkaaa theskaraaaaa......... oreee............

I got an "admit" from CMU... but its in spring 2012 .... dammmmmmn nnnn,...... "hontoniiiii baaaakaaa theskaraaaa .....oreeeee...." .........

Y am i doing this.... why why whwy whyh why whwyh whyhwyh wyhy whhyh wyhy7why hwyhwyh wyhwyh wywhywhy???/
?/
?/
?????

I WISH.... AYGGGGGGGG WAT THE F IS THE POUINTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT>L
....

omiai ... sodeskaraaaaa.... omiaaiii .. she.... willll havee.....

FUCK ME.....

hpeless ..... i am ....see pu an "o'onm hope baaaaaaaaaakaaaaaaaa .... u even miss spelt all that ....... ahoooooooooo!!!! ........

publkihh/""" or not to publish??? " whose gonna read anyway ..... himanshu?

haaaaaa